Hun, would you have married me if I did this during our dates?

Would You? Sample # 1: Barney vs. Post Office

I'm into the second decade of marriage and I find myself asking my wife if she would have married me if she saw/heard/smelled me in action like she does now.

At my last place of employment, we were allowed $10/month in metered postage. It was a perk of the job. One of my weaknesses is 'free' stuff. So I racked up my allowance of stamped letters. When I moved on, I had several years of these. Now they are dated, some 3 years old. I bought the 2 cent stamps and stick them next to the metered .39 cents red imprint.

I mailed the Boulder City Vehicle Registration my check for my $30 Vehicle renewal last week from my new work, and my letter came back to my house 2 days later. Some careful postal worker checked my meter date and scribbled "Outdated", and sent it back to me. Why does money paid for postage get 'outdated?" Its that on the books? A law? Yes, I KNOW I have a problem: My 'free' thing is worthless and I'm wasting my life battling windmills over .41 cents.

I dutifully prepared another exact letter the same way, old meter imprinted .39 cents letter from my mothballed office plus another .2 cent sticky stamp, and put the letter in my mailbox. Briefly, I considered cutting out the .2 cent stamp from my first letter I lost in this first salvo and attempting to reuse it, but thought better of the effort. Even though the postal person had not scribbled on that part of the letter. I put the second letter in my mailbox for pickup. The mail came and the letter was still there, the post person had left it there. No note. Why should the post person waste time writing a note to an idiot like me?

I catch my wife looking with distaste at the mishagosh returned 3 year old .39 cent imprinted with a .2 cent sticker letter with scribbled notes from a postal worker. I use to remind her earlier in the marriage: I come from a 900 year European tradition being holed up in the cities writing down what the farmers grew while the goy farmers were outside in the sun growing. My stamped letter fight is a natural, organic version of this legacy here in 2008. I don't remind her anymore.

Now, right after I post this, I am going to dump this letter in a city street mail box for round #3. The registration is not past due until the end of March.

The questions: will my letter be delivered this time? Would my wife have married this nut had she known; am I really any better off?

Barney Moran
Grateful Word

Comments

[Daz Cox]

I just wish there was a way to opt out from getting bulk mailings...

[Flowerchildgonmat]

Hmmmmmmmmmm thinks your type will keep trying to fight the system until you win. Your wife will be entertained for years to come. Best of luck!